Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' A mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Well, now, Muldoon. Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?'

Okay, since all of you are that interested in my funny story just before Shabuwa, I guess I'll tell it...lol. Whether you are or aren't, here she comes anyhow. I'll call him Bob, since it's his name for real. His own story according to him started in 1976 when he attended what sounded to me when he told me, was his first time attending a Universal Church that his now present wife had been going to. She drug him and his two kids along with her two, that the both had brought to their marriage. So I assumed the two had gone through something in a previous marriage. I didn't ask him. Anyway, he tells me this was his first time to go with her. Well Bob didn't know they had arrived late in the sermon and it was wrapping up, until they entered the building. The preacher recognizing Bobs wife, and knew she was trying to get Bob there for some time now. The preacher according to Bob started talking about how he, the preacher felt there was someone in attendance that needed to call upon Jesus and be saved by baptism. Bob says he sat and listened until something came over him, and he told me, he jumped into the air when the preacher says, "are you out there." Bob runs down front, all the way from the back since being late. He shouts, "It's me, I need it."
Before the service with Bob was over, the preacher ended up baptising Bob along with his two children who had also heard the preacher's call. Bob told me, which I know nothing off, they started shouting in tongues and Bob and his children did also. I guess telling me that he was engulfed by, well I'll leave that right there. Anyhow, Bob continues telling me his adventures with, the older Olsteen, "(1st name slips my mind), Kenneth Copeland and Joyce Meyers and how he had helped them building churches and he continually citing Pauls words mixed into his story. Well every time he would mention Paul, I would click my eye like a shutter. After about the 4th time he stops and ask me if somethings wrong. I told him, "yes there is." I told his I was turning him off everytime he mentions Paul...just like a radio...He could not understand how someone can not love Pauls adventures...lol. That I needed the "holy ghost." Now this 70yr old man has hands like bananas. I was standing at my shop door when he makes a move towards me, banana hands extended towards my shoulders thinking I was just going to stand there and let what was about to befall me, just let it happen. Well to his surprise, i jumped backwards against the shop door with my hands up like I was defending myself, and told him, "oh no you don't" If anyone puts their hands on me without mine or my Fathers permission, they had best be careful. He got that message quick just seeing it in my face. And the main reason is bc a while back now, my wife and I decided one day after our studies, lets baptise each other in our own bathtub. We huddled together with the Spirit of our Father present and did it. I can tell all of you, this was just so right to us. We felt it!..With my hand over my heart, as soon as I emerged and dried off, the phone rings. It was one of my sons on the other end announcing to his mother and I, we were going to be grandparents. I couldn't believe it. Father was sending us a gift of new life, not only to us I felt, but to my own son too, who by the way, through our efforts of walking in His good and proper name, they too are now searching out our Father in Heaven. They have dropped the Sunday illusion and are starting the journey of discovery.
Well there was alot more to, "banana hands," but for the most part, I just tuned him out after hearing some of those names I wrote above. He had to in the end, now listen to me. And he got both barrels...Haven't heard back yet. I directed him to certain places where he could find the actual truth. Will he go? I have my doubts.
That's the story summarized. I need a camera crew following me around bc I find people to be so funny, and they give me the biggest laughs hearing them. I thank Father for opening my eyes and thank Him for all His help.

I am amazed at how quickly Christians will lay their hands on someone else without first obtaining permission. Even their messenger from Satan tells them not to do that! But it has happened to me more than once (I considered myself a Christian at those times), but I won't let it happen again. Now that I know who controls the Christians, that it is Yahowah's enemy and not Yahowah Himself, to have one of them touch me in the name of their god just creeps me out.

encounterHim, embarrassed by your praise; thank you. well, I have finished 40 sessions of radiation therapy instead of chemo, and now i have to wait four months before i will know if the cancer has been irradiated. my strength should improve during these months; the radiation zaps strength. all that is over and now i should grow stronger and await the results. i am very positive about all the treatment received. thank you all for your kinds words of encouragement.

I don't know how thunderfoot sat there this long but it is pretty funny at the very end....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTSbfs32yCU


Luke 17:33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
Luke 17:34 I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Luke 17:35 Two women shall be grinding together; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
Luke 17:36 Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.

Hey brother. Really more heartbreaking in the end. Just knowing all sitting there arguing about nothing that matters when they should be asking, who's right. And that answer is, neither of 'em.

That was outstanding. I might need one of those little cars because, you know, with great age comes great gas ...

I have told myself to steer clear of politics and still get drawn into it bc I seem too not be able to accept where our country is heading. Some think we've arrived already, but this clip from the John Stewart Show, highlights quite well just why a decent guy like Ron Paul stands zero chance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EY5Ofcxjs0

No, I know I'm not getting involved in that mess again, but when the shop is full of rightwing conservatives and all that's on any of their minds is when they get the chance to vote these ppl from office, well sometimes even trying to stay out of it gets hard. Do I hold out for "hope?" Yes I do, for everyone I come across.
I had a guy break down in his truck over here yesterday. He was impressed that someone would stand in the hot Texas sun with him while he waited on a tow. I'll bet you can guess where our conversation headed. This guy knew nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, about anything. It's remarkable that ppl come up in life and have no opinion about anything. I could have seen it as a clean slate to work with, but this guy had movies and video games on his mind. I know why they call them, "programs."

Scuttlebut...lol. I'll bet most folks don't know that's a military term. I know you do, brother.

That is not the hope to which I was referring. I was writing about the hope people seem to have that America will "return to God", the hope that the good old days of peace and prosperity will return again, that the American military will squash evil meanies everywhere, ensuring that our self-absorbed little lives will continue without interruption from the violently jealous fools in other countries. Such hope is just plain useless, because we know destruction is headed our way (and not ours only, but for the entire world). The rich - which some like to characterize on streaming talk radio shows as being those who are "productive" and thus deserving of honor and special tax breaks - and those who are not rich - which those same people like to characterize as being "unproductive" and therefore unworthy of life or its sustenance - in these United States of America will all go through the same wringer.

By the way, brother, I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that entertainers, sports figures, corporate executives and their ilk are considered to be "productive" when they are those who openly and proudly live lives of wantonness, waste, and luxury! Neither could Ya'acob, half-brother of Yahowsha', if I read his letter correctly. Anyway ...

My only hope about any of this is that my wife and I will be among those the Father removes to His safety before the avalanche of what's coming hits.

"This Is The Song Everybody Knows"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBd8zE48A

halal ben shachar....seeing how weak the field is in the presidential race has decided to run. His slogan is "vote for satan: cut out the middle man!"

A valid observation, jatrom. Thanks.

I was just thinking about the title of this thread, "A Little Religious Humor". Since religion turns souls away from the Life that is in Yahowah, I cannot see where there is any humor there at all. I know, I am probably sounding like a real stick in the mud here, and I have to admit that I do crack up when I hear a truly outrageous joke, regardless of its subject matter. Still, though ... you know what I mean?

That is appalling. I was once thrown out of an AoG church. One of the associate pastors and a deacon came to the house and told my family that they were still welcome, though. Then they told my children that their daddy was a bad man. That is when I said in a very calm, measured tone of voice that they would be exercising wisdom by leaving right then. All of that was in response of my confession to the pastor of some crimes I had committed and would later serve time for. Such a loving family is the body of Jebus Christ and all its Pauline initiates!

at least the, p(b)astor's name fits with his association...this is nothing more than a public stoning.

lol...When the teacher called his name, he proudly blurted out, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and annoy Him forever!"

Did that kid nail it!....Welcome to heaven, everyone. Sorry to the few that found the path, but you didn't annoy God enough.

Har, har, har.

(A catholic teacher wouldn't be 'drilling' the students on the Westminster Confession of Faith !)

pretty good...grand idea here, let's from the very beginning start lying to our children. let satans claws grab hold and judge them. the poor ones when they awake, are judged naughty b/c their parents are without and he has a list of every child, that their own parents lie to them about. i feel sorrier for the wealthy ones actually, they get to parade their gifts in front of the naughty ones. really, are we that much different from those, "wild asses?"

http://upload.wikimedia....px-MithraReliefvert.jpg

Look its a guy in a santa claus hat, and the statue of liberty in the upper left (Apollo)